Among some of the greatest barriers to being successful, one key barrier that restricts us is our conditioning that takes place in our subconscious mind from the time when we were infants. We all tend to talk and act like the people around us. Usually, our primitive conditioning is not with some very good ideas and because of that we do not think for ourselves and blindly follow everybody surrounding us. All we want is to get a job, look around how others are doing their work and then do it in the same way.
In some point of life, we all have been afraid of what the “other people” would think of us. And from there we somehow start to hide our authentic self. With the layers of limiting beliefs, social conditioning or bad parenting, whatever the reason is, it gets buried inside of us until we start to forget. And this is the main reason that we don’t feel fulfilled and truly happy in our life. And you are made to believe as if there are some valid logic, reasoning, and beliefs that why it should remain buried. But the truth is unless you go in and dig out your authentic self you can never fix your situation.
Being the best possible version of yourself as an individual is a very difficult thing to achieve because extracting yourself from your clan is often considered as “Socially unacceptable”. You are supposed to be around other people all the time and interact with them. If you look at every piece of media or every story that you were being told, the solution at the end of the story is someone else.
Strange it may sound but the fact is that most of us don’t know who we are in a vacuum. In other words, if we didn’t have somebody else vying for our time and attention, we rarely get self-aware.
Just ask yourself a question if there were no outside influences on your life “who would you be”? It’s a question that a lot of people have trouble answering because from day one, we essentially have people guiding our actions.
After we start going to school or work, these things start to define us but they define us from outside. And very seldom do we have the opportunity to define ourselves from the inside out. And that thing hit me through many of my life experiences and I realised that I had to define everything about myself, for myself and in the context of myself without any outside help. And that is one of the biggest struggles of life which usually take quite a long time to figure out who you are and what you usually prefer.
Most of us define ourselves for other people. We all are living our lives in such a way that it could be shareable so that other people will get why we are doing a certain thing. There’s is no right or wrong way to do anything but there are ways that we actually prefer to do some things and discovering what these self-preferences are can take a little bit of time and effort. And doing that will take time whether you are able to go to an extreme and really make it a priority in life or whether it is something that you can do from time to time.
What I would recommend is take out some spare time that you have for yourself and figure out what you want to do. Put yourself first and be selfish (the good kind of selfish) because more you are able to identify who you are and what you actually want, the more fulfilled and energized you will be.
And as a result, you will be a better part of any group that you happen to be a part of whether that’s work or any relationship.
Whether your life is a thrilling adventure or just surfing the internet for the whole day is irrelevant. What relevant is, you take the time to discover it. Being more yourself than ever before in your life is a ‘value add’ to everything else that you do. It is one of the very few investments you can make that pays dividends in every single aspect of your lifestyle.